


Murdoc Gets Laid and Apparently So Do You!!!!: The Midquel

by JesterMonkey



Series: The Murdoc Gets Laid Saga [4]
Category: Gorillaz
Genre: Bake a cake, F/M, Mild comedy, Not a lot happens in this fic honestly, Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-31
Updated: 2016-05-31
Packaged: 2018-07-11 08:29:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7040866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JesterMonkey/pseuds/JesterMonkey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>2-D's birthday happened and nobody really lifted a finger for him, so you decided to bake him a cake.</p>
<p>Funny thing is though, Muddy seems to wants some cake as well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Murdoc Gets Laid and Apparently So Do You!!!!: The Midquel

**Author's Note:**

> Hey this is mildly topical because 2D's birthday wasn't too long ago, right???
> 
>  
> 
> Right?
> 
> Also, if this is actually really shitty, please call me out on its shittiness. I can do better than this; I was just in a very non-"imma do this properly" mood today.

With powdered hands, you wiped your face. 2-D was going to love this. No one had bothered to celebrate his birthday, not really. The poor sod only got a packet of cigarettes from Noodle, even then they were a really cheap and shitty brand.

So you’d decided to bake him a cake.

Staring down at the metallic bowl, you admired how skilled you were at dumping two cups of flour into said bowl. You scratched your nose, inhaling more flour in the process. You took up an egg in your hand and slammed it against the side of the bowl. The egg splattered in your hand, luckily most of it sputtered into the bowl. You hoped 2-D didn’t mind egg shells.

Taking up the second egg, you tried again, tapping it gently against the side of the bowl. Nothing. You tapped it again. Nothing. Once more. Something, but basically nothing. One last time. There was the satisfying crack. You sighed, carefully pulling the egg open, the ooze falling on top of the flour.

Gently lifting up the tablespoon from the paper bag of sugar, you brought the spoon to the bowl, leaving a trail of sugar behind it. With your powdery hands, you scooped up the sugar so no one got the wrong idea and snorted something they shouldn’t have.

Then, you grabbed the bottle of milk. There wasn’t all that much left. Roughly a quarter full in fact.

“That should do.” You said to yourself, pouring the remaining contents of the bottle into the bowl.

Then you drew your attention to the handy sachet of cocoa powder beside you. You tore the top of it open and dumped the powder onto the white goop in the bowl. Grabbing a wooden spoon, flicking off some crust that had been left there from the washing up, you twirled it around in the bowl. This was part of the reason that they got Russ to do the dishes, Murdoc was hopeless. Mixing the contents of the bowl to your own beat, you heard the familiar shuffling and mumbling of Murdoc Niccals behind you.

“What the bloody ‘ell are you doin’ up this early, love?” He groaned.

You furrowed your brows. “Early? It’s ten o’clock, Muddy.”

“Yeah, and?” He grunted, leaning against the kitchen counter. “Could you…Could you answer the question, please.”

“I’m baking a cake for 2-D.” You sighed, stirring faster.

You could feel his eyes staring holes in the back of your head. “Hope that’s the only cake your givin’ ‘im.”

“Shut up, Murdoc.” You groaned. You poked your finger into the cake mix and pointed towards Murdoc, your finger was roughly five inches away from his face. “Here, taste this.”

Murdoc gently wrapped a hand around yours and licked at the mix on your finger.

“Too damp.” He grunted back in reply. “It’s too damp.”

You brought your hand back. “It’ll dry in the oven.”

Murdoc scoffed at you as you dragged over a cake tin, pouring the ooze into the tray. He shuffled over to your side and gave you a toothy grin.

“What?” You sighed. You shoved him aside and placed the cake tin onto the oven, cursing yourself for forgetting to preheat it. You turned to face him. “What are you doing?”

“Nothing.” Murdoc grinned. “Nothing at all.”

“Murdoc.”

“Alright, you’ve got white stuff on your face.” He replied, covering his mouth with his hand. “I thought it was funny.”

“Oh, grow up.” You sighed.

Murdoc snickered to himself as he retreated from your furious glances. You sighed, rolling your eyes and leaning against the kitchen counter.

Murdoc smiled softly. “Can I help?”

“What? More than you have already?” You sighed.

“Well this is for 2-D, right? C’mon. I owe it to him. Let me do something!” He muttered softly, rubbing at the back of his neck. “Can I do the icing at least?”

You folded your arms and cocked a brow. “Why?”

“I am not just an artist in the musical sense.” Murdoc said, waving his hands about in a flourished manner. “I’m also quite the painter.”

“Really?”

“Really, really.” Murdoc sighed. “And I can draw a mean pair of tits.”

You rolled your eyes. “Of course, I knew it.” You picked up a towel and flicked at Murdoc with it. “Out.”

“Alright! Alright! Alright! Enough! How about I just write, ‘Happy Birthday’, eh?” Murdoc hissed.

You grinned at him. “Good boy.”

You pushed a small bowl and icing mix towards him. Murdoc obediently started to mix the icing. You carefully poured two drops of blue food colouring into the white mixture when you heard him snickering at the white substance.

Murdoc’s expression was his usual begrudged yet plotting expression. His eyes barely moved from the bowl, yet they seemed glazed almost like he was focusing on something else.

“Hey, love, are you alright after last night?” Murdoc mumbled.

You grinned and nodded slowly to him. Murdoc tried to smile in return.

That’s what you get for ‘experimenting’ with Murdoc. In the end, one of you was going to end up either injured or possessed. Thankfully, it was the former. As lovely as the story would have been, Murdoc had slathered himself in whipped cream, he was cooing at you from the other end of the room, telling you to come eat your dessert. However, as soon as things got a little saucy, Murdoc’s tongue swirling around your mouth, he slipped on some fallen cream on the floor and fell forwards.

Murdoc landed on top of you and you slammed your head against the bed rest. Worst of all, you landed funny, having to then walk out of Murdoc’s room sore, sticky and horny.

“It’s fine. It could have been worse.” You sighed.

Murdoc chuckled. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” He sighed, pushing the bowl away from him. “Did you want to…you know?”

“Muddy, let it go.” You sighed.

The bell rang on the oven and you quickly turned it off and slipped on a pair of oven mitts. Murdoc moved to the side as you pulled out the steaming cake and placed it carefully on the kitchen counter.

“Is it supposed to be doing that?” Murdoc scoffed.

“Probably not.” You sighed, fanning the cake.

Murdoc slithered closer to you. “That was really quick, love. Is it cooked properly?”

“Should be.” You said softly. “I turned it up a bit higher so it would cook quickly.”

Murdoc smiled approvingly. “Thatta girl!”

You pushed the cake towards him. “Okay, Muddy, could you put the icing on. I’ll get Stu.”

Murdoc saluted to you as you dashed out of the kitchen. You almost bolted into the hall until you noticed someone sitting on the couch in their underwear, playing a game.

“Stu?” You gasped. “How long have you been there?”

2-D shrugged. “Dunno. A while, I guess.”

Your eyes drifted towards the kitchen where Murdoc was chuckling to himself. You sighed, trying your best to smile at him.

“Do you know what I was doing in the kitchen?” You said twiddling your thumbs.

2-D faced you and smiled a toothless smile. “More or less. Smells good.”

You sighed, pointing to the kitchen. “Do you want to come and see?”

2-D paused the game he was playing and sighed, noticing your expectant expression. “I guess I have no choice then.”

Smiling brightly, you skipped back towards the kitchen, 2-D trailing behind you. Murdoc faced his back to the two of you.

“Muddy, give it to me.” You said brightly.

Murdoc chuckled. “Sure thing” He purred, turning to face you.

He had slathered on blue icing arrows pointing down to his legs on his stomach. Murdoc pointed his stomach to you proudly. Your eyes traced up and down his body, finally you looked him dead in the eyes. Murdoc stopped smiling when he saw the fire in your eyes.

Closing your eyes, you sighed. “Murdoc…The cake.”

Murdoc quickly shoved the cake in your direction; the words ‘2-D is a knob’ shakily scribbled onto the cake with the icing. You groaned. 2-D reached around you and pulled the cake towards him. He took it in his hands carefully.

“Thanks.” He said patting you on the shoulder, before wandering back to the couch.

Murdoc looked to you weakly. “Ah. I probably should have waited.”

You grabbed the icing bowl and scooped up a wad of icing in your hand. You angrily started to smash the icing into a large ball in your hands. You gnarled at him before slamming the ball of icing into his face. Murdoc chuckled to himself as you stormed out of the room.

“Talk about gettin’, blue balled, right 2-D?!”

“Murdoc…please.” 2-D sighed.

Later, 2-D told you that the cake fell apart after three minutes; much like Murdoc, in fact.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Does anybody REALLY and I mean REEAAALLLY want to read the reader getting fucked by the great green, bass playing fiend???
> 
> Well maybe you do...But I'm honestly too embarrassed to come up with something wonderful and not be condemned to hell for it. If ya'll have nay ideas that'd be funny to read/write I'm all ears.


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